Because Memorial Day is freaking hard

This past weekend I’ve seen so many posts reminding people what Memorial Day is all about. And that’s awesome because it’s a super important day.

But I mentally can’t spend all of Memorial Day the way it was “intended.” Especially this year. This year is too heavy already.

I’ve seen other posts about “observing” vs “celebrating” Memorial Day. And it made a very valid point. It made sense. But it also made me feel like maybe I was doing this day all wrong because I didn’t have such strong convictions about how the day should be spent.

At some point I started to feel like I was obligated to share all the Memorial Day things and to post my opinion because I am a military spouse and write about life as such.

But the fact that we are a military family is exactly why I step back from this day, at least on social media. It’s just too much. My husband wears a KIA bracelet. Every. Single. Day. I was dating him when things happened. We had only been dating a few months before he deployed so I didn’t know the person. But my husband did.

Every year the pictures start to go around. The crying widows and kids in front of white headstones. And it’s absolutely overwhelming. The rest of the world sees a powerful picture, maybe says a prayer for the fallen. I see the lives that were shaken. And there’s always that worry that it could be me. Or one of my friends.

It was easier in a way when my husband and I were dating because I could distance myself from it. He was the only one I really had to worry about. Now I have friends with spouses all over the place and I worry for them all.

So I guess this is my rambling way of saying, please don’t judge those in the military community for how they spend their Memorial Day. We all process things differently. Some post and share everything. Some of us take a back seat and don’t say as much as we “should.”

Even though I may not post about Memorial Day or share those gut wrenching pictures, I can promise you it’s not because this day doesn’t affect me.

Because Memorial Day is really freaking hard.

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