Tuesday Morning Coffee: 3/31/20

We’ve officially made it to the end of March!!! I thought January felt forever long….but now I am fully aware that was just a warm up for March. And if I’m being honest, April is starting to look like it might last forever too.

I told our pediatrician yesterday that it felt like we should be to at least Thanksgiving by now. This has got to be the longest year ever.

Now if you read my post yesterday, you know that I’m having a bit of a rough time dealing with deployment and this whole coronavirus thing.

I hate being in situations where I’m not able to do something. And this is a time where pretty much all the things impacting my life are 110% out of my control. Yeah. I about broke into a sweat writing that.

And like I said yesterday, it’s ok to not be ok. It’s good to admit you’re struggling. And I’m doing that. But I’m also doing my best to keep myself out of a funk.

All that to say, this week for our coffee chat I wanted to talk about what I’m doing to make myself feel better during this stressful season.

Managing my expectations

Every time I turn around it seems like I see someone who is using this time of staying home to get so much done. They master three languages, get their doctorate, and keep their house spotless. That can make me feel like crap real fast. So when I start to beat myself up for not doing “more,” I think about how much my life hasn’t changed. I didn’t gain any free time. I’m still a stay at home mom with two little people who need me 18+ hours a day. And now I can’t take them places to distract them. So why the heck should I be feeling obligated to do more?!

Taking time for “my stuff

Remember back in the day when you had hobbies? Make time for those again. I’ve been knitting and sewing in my free time because those are feel good activities for me.

Look for ways to make it happen

I was very frustrated that I couldn’t go to the stores to get what I wanted for our Easter photos. It’s Eloise’s first Easter and I had the perfect set up planned. But without shopping it’s just not an option. Honestly I wanted to just skip it and be mad. But I keep reminding myself to adapt and use what I have to do what I can.

This is the case for so many things. Our dreams and plans are getting trashed. It’s okay to be sad, but after letting yourself have those emotions, it’s important to pick yourself up and adapt your plans as much as you can. It’s ok to not be ok…but it’s not ok to wallow in self pity. No mater how valid the self pity may be.

Be kind

I am an action person so I like to feel like there is something I can do.

Now I obviously can’t cure this sickness. I can’t do anything to care for the sick. But staying home (definitely the right thing to do!) is a passive thing. I need an action.

So I took a dozen donuts to the nurses at our hospital. I’m about to sew some button headbands for a friend in the medical field. It’s not much, but it gives me something to do that makes me feel a little less helpless!

Try something new

Use this time to try something you’ve thought you might like to “someday.”

For example: I got chickens. Baby chicks. And I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. But I found myself in a position to be able to do it so here I am. I’m learning as I go, but it’s actually pretty fun. And it’s nice to have something new to fill the time.

Maybe you don’t want chickens, but you’ve been wanting to learn how to bake bread, or do calligraphy, or finally master manual mode on your camera. Use this time at home to your advantage!

An “attitude of gratitude”

I saved this one for last because it’s probably the most important. Every day I try to remember to think about the things I’m grateful for. The health of my family and the fact that I am fortunate enough to have moved home with family while my husband is gone are some big ones!

This one isn’t easy. Some days it’s really really hard to feel genuinely grateful. I can make lists of things I should be grateful for, but but I don’t feel much at all. It’s so easy to get caught up in a funk. But I do try every day to think of the things I am grateful for…and most days focusing on the positive helps tremendously!

Ok now I want to hear from you!

How are you doing? And what are you doing to keep your spirits lifted during this time?

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