Alright y’all. We have talked about the fact that it can be really difficult to make friends as a military spouse…but I think we can agree that it is totally worth it. We’ve even talked about a few helpful hints for how to go about making friends. Now. Let me tell you why at least some of those friends need to be military spouses.
I read something in a Facebook group the other day where one spouse made a disparaging comment about other military spouses and said that was why she wasn’t friends with any other spouses. (Her reasoning was basically that all military spouses are lame and just sit at home being boring and living for their husbands….insert eyeroll here). Sure I was appalled at her words, but I also couldn’t help but think of all the things she was missing out on!
Sometimes you need someone who”gets it.”
Obviously life as a military spouse comes with some unique challenges and situations. It can be nice to have friends that know how it goes. When plans get canceled or rearranged because your husband’s leave dates changed for the eighth time in a week they will use shake their heads with you and probably refill your glass of wine. Because they have been there too.
It’s nice to talk to someone without having to stop to explain words/phrases/acronyms.
When you are new to military life, it can feel like you will never know all these acronyms and weird words…then within a month you can’t tell a story without your mom/college BFF stopping you twenty times to ask for a translation. Obviously it’s not their fault. But it can be really nice to just tell the story and your friend can follow along because they speak the same lingo.
Military spouse friends are a pretty great source of knowledge and experience.
As we have all figured out by now, there is no guide book for how to get through this whole adventure. In fact, there are a ton of resources you and your family are able to take advantage of…if you know how and where to find them. And let’s be honest. That usually involves walking past a non-descript door at 0430 on the third Thursday of the month. Military spouse friends can help with that! If there is something you need, your group of friends is a great place to start when trying to find it. My friends have helped me navigate the healthcare system, find the playgroups and activities near our base, find buildings that didn’t have an address listed, and so much more.
It won’t shock them that you haven’t talked to your husband in a week.
Again with just trying to tell a story/make conversation, “normal” friends can be totally baffled that you haven’t had any way to contact your husband for a few days/weeks. I’ll be talking and that is almost inevitably where the conversation pauses as they tell me they can’t imagine doing that and how am I doing. The truth is that it feel fairly normal at this point. And chances are, your military spouse friends think it is pretty normal too.
Deployment buddies for life.
If you happen to make friends with other military spouses, there is a good chance their service members may deploy at the same time as yours. Which is awesome because you have someone to do stuff with while your spouse is gone. As I said before, solo parenting is hardest for me on the weekends when everyone else seems to be doing stuff with their families and there aren’t too many “moms getting out of the house together” activities. Having friends who also have a deployed spouse will help give you people to hang out with on those weekends!
They can get you on base if you forget your ID!
Maybe this is just me…but I forget everything. And my greatest fear is forgetting my ID at home and not being able to go back to get it. Helloooooo military spouse friend. I’m sure there are other ways to handle the situation, but I like knowing I hav friends I could call to help me out if I needed it!